Over and over

He's in my head

(Just forget him, just forget him)

I can tell it's driving you crazy

How it drives me crazy

In the dark, in the night, it scares me

But I'm fine by morning

(Just forget him, just forget him)

I'm actually finding it hard

Help myself, or help you

I can't leave you crying in corners

Makes me cry harder

(Just forget him, just forget him)

Hold me tight, because I need to 

Just forget him.

I need you

Meghan <3

   Alright, smart people of the world. I'm going to make a list of everything that's bothering me, your going to tell me how screwy in the head I really am. Alright? Kay, go:

• I love my boyfriend, I really do. But he thinks that he's annoying to me. He's not, he's pretty much the one thing keeping me around right now. What a pleasant thought.
• My parents. That's all. That's all I have to say.
• Me and letting my education slowly go down the drain---> stupid.
• HOW I GOT 55% ON THE EASIEST FUCKING TEST OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!
• How I ask to go to the docter because I'm worried about myself, and she said no. Brilliant fucking brilliant.
• How I'd rather be at his house, than at my own.
• I can't stand him. At all, not even a little bit.
• He stalks me, I swear to god. It's kinda wierd.
• I'm still afraid of the one thing in my life I shouldn't be.
• I want him, I just don't know if he wants me. And that's the only thing that's holding me back, not my "shyness" as he thinks.

                                     * If I wanna get out alive, run for my life?

                                                                 -Meghan <3

It's night outside and I'm all alone
The fires shining but i'm still freezing.
It's christmas time.
But your not here, and i'm all alone.
It's so cold outside, lonely outside
You know I need you now.
But there's nothing you can do, nothing you can do.
It's okay during the day, it still hurts but at least it's bright.
The dark brings thoughts, thoughts I can't bare
When your not here.
Not here.
It drags me through the night.
And i can't sleep anymore.
And it's driving me crazy.
I'll just think of you.
And hope it all goes away.
Hope it all goes away.

                                                                                -Meghan<3

   Crazy stuff, everything can change so fast. And it's not always a bad thing. Yes, I said that change isn't a bad thing. Okay, I have a boyfriend, Jeff is fucking awesome okay? SO AWESOME! He doesn't even realize how awesome he really is. Anyways, I had a talk with Darci about the drugs, she took it pretty well, and she listened so that's always great. Bambi and I had an awesome time at Motley  Crue and Aerosmith. It was so fun! Amaaaazing!

   Me and Sofia agreed that we're both effing retarded and we should stop fighting. Yay! I don't like fighting. Oh, and as for my job, boring as all hell. I'm going shopping today with Jeff! And I'm supposed to have a party on New Years! Exciting stuff!

                                                -Meghan <3

   It's been a long time since I've been in here, lots of stuff has happened. Okay, start with the easy stuff, I got myself a job. I work, my first paycheck is tomorrow! I'm excited. Second, I'm single. Yay!

   Now on to the more difficult emotionally 'straining' stuff. I'm completely pissed at my 'old' friends, they don't even care if I see them or not. I have a day off tomorrow, and I was going to go see them, but they don't even care enough to tell me what bus to take. So I give up, I made plans with my 'new' friends. If my old friends don't care what I do or where I am, then personally I give up on them too. I refuse to me being the only one giving a damn, when they should at least pretend to give a damn too.

   Huh, what else is new? Well, CMS is absolutely the stupidest boringest class ever, for the moment. That's probably why I'm on the internet hey? Guitar is always awesomely funny. I'm failing math. Who cares? Not me. Anyways, must go,

                                                                                      -Meghan <3

A distant memory comes to mind

in the car, late at night

ACDC blaring and my dad asking

"How was dancing?" and even

in the silence knowing it was fine

Twirling dancing autumn leaves

in street light glow

the low hum as cars go by

everything just fine

watching cars flash by the window everything just fine.

The music fades, the memory gone

And everythings just fine.

                                    -Meghan <3